I wanted to believe you would win the war in your head that I did not understand...

My first blog of 2010. Life has been stressful so finding the time and energy to blog was harder than usual.

Last Saturday night, January 2 2010 at approximately 11:30pm my sister Gay called me to inform me that my 24 year old nephew Tyrel, was dead. It was late when my phone rang, so I thought she had accidentally "butt dialed" me but when I answered Gay said "Tyrel is dead."

Tyrel had turned 24 two days before. He had been struggling with depression for years and had attempted suicide before. Unfortunately, this time he succeeded. Tyrel Adison Long 12/31/85 - 1/2/2010

It has been a very emotional week. Losing someone you love is always hard but losing someone so young, who took their own life makes it even worse.
Mason took it especially hard, he and Tyrel were very close.
Mason with Ty. Mason said "spending time with Tyrel was like going to Hawaii"

I was so worried about telling Mason since he struggles with depression himself. I thought it may be more than he could take and it was devastating to him. The only place he found any real comfort was with his cousin's and other family members who were also grieving.

Ty's funeral was held Friday, January 8th in Spanish Fork. Everyone dressed and ready to go down to the funeral (Mason was already down in there)

Ruth, Matt, Elaine, Dayne, Mason, and a family friend all participated. The service was the most moving I have ever been to and also the most crowded. Obviously, Tyrel was loved by many people. It was fun hearing all the stories people shared about him. I cried hard, but I laughed hard too and that was healing.
My nephew/Ty's cousin Dayne read some of Ty's journal entries and they also read part of the note that Tyrel left. I never thought I would be able to say that I found comfort in a suicide note but I did. Ty's last words were thoughtful and loving. But the pain of life was too much for Ty.
Ty was buried in the cemetery across from my Mom's where I grew up playing.

Death always makes you reanalyze your life. It makes you realize that you really need to make an effort to spend time with the people you love and always let them know how much they mean to you.

"When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.” ~ Maurice Maeterlinck